Rachel Berry is No Fool
by insaneantics21
Summary: For the first time in years, Rachel doesn't have anything happen to her on April Fool's Day. Well, anything bad.


**Author's Note:** I wrote this for April Fool's Day but never published it. I have no idea why. Better late than never, right? Disregard Season 3.

* * *

><p>Rachel Berry wasn't a fan of April Fool's Day. Inevitably, she always ended up washing slushie or some other staining substance out of her hair and clothing at the end of the day because that was the jocks' idea of a prank. This year was a little different, though.<p>

It was almost the end of the day and Rachel hadn't been pranked. At all. There were no slushies, no vats of ketchup, no eggs. She had one more class left in the day to make it through and it would be the first year since junior high when she didn't go home covered in something. She cautiously walked through the hallways, stopping and freezing when she saw anyone with a cup of anything. Nothing hit her. She made it to math with no problems. She made it _through _math with no problems. When the final bell rang, Rachel quickly scurried to her locker and attempted to make it out of the school as fast as possible.

Someone behind her stopped her, though. She could feel the presence of someone following her but when she turned, there was no one paying her any attention. When she got to her locker it was the same thing. She reached in to grab her history book but was stopped when her hand hit something furry.

"Oh no."

Of course. There had to be some kind of dead animal in there, that was the only explanation. Rachel cautiously looked in at what she was touching and, much to her surprise, she was met with a pink stuffed bunny.

"Do you like it?"

Rachel screamed and jumped at the sudden appearance of Brittany Pierce next to her.

"I...it's very cute, Brittany."

"It took six dollars to get it out of the claw machine at Denny's."

"Oh? Well, thank you very much."

"I like you."

"Pardon?"

"I like you. We should go out tonight."

Rachel cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head. Of course. Sweet, innocent Brittany would lure her to some remote place for the killshot. Well, there was no way she was falling for it. Had it been anyone else, Rachel probably would've yelled or given a long speech. But this was Brittany.

"I'm very sorry, Brittany, but I'm busy tonight."

"No you're not."

"I-I have a voice lesson."

Brittany giggled. "You have voice lessons on Sundays, silly. Come on, it'll be fun."

"Aren't you dating Artie?"

Brittany shrugged. "Not anymore.."

"What about Santana?"

"She won't talk to me. But I like you."

"While I'm very flattered, Brittany, I just can't."

"But I really like you. You're cute and fun-sized. Like those little candy bars. And I know you like girls. You look in gym class."

Rachel sighed, it was clear that Brittany wasn't going to give up. She had to be blunt and brutally honest. So, she took a deep breath, shut her locker and looked right into Brittany's baby blue eyes.

"Brittany, I must admit that I have apprehensions that this is the beginning of a very cruel April Fool's Day prank."

Brittany was silent for a few minutes before she grinned and giggled. "That's why Coach Sylvester's car is wrapped in plastic wrap!"

"Yes, I'd assume so."

"It's not a joke. I really like you."

"Alright, assuming that this isn't a joke, where is it you planned on going tonight?"

"That's a secret. It's a special spot."

"That doesn't help alleviate any of my suspicions."

Brittany's smile turned into a frown, her bright baby blue eyes darkened a little as she glanced down at the ground and scuffed the floor with the toe of her shoe. Rachel instantly felt bad but she refused to give in. She refused to be humiliated. This was one April Fool's Day that she wasn't going to cry on.

"I guess I'll talk to you later," Brittany whispered. "You can keep the bunny."

Before Rachel could say anything, the blonde had retreated down the hall and out the front doors of the school; Rachel followed behind a few seconds later. When she exited the building it wasn't a shock seeing what she did. Her little blue Prius was surrounded by jocks with cans of paint...and there wasn't anything she could do about it. Dave Karofsky looked over his shoulder, right at her, and smirked as he popped open his paint can and prepared to pour it.

"Hey, stop that!"

Rachel jerked her head to see Brittany running across the parking lot toward the group of jocks with a furious scowl on her face.

"I told you to leave her alone today!"

"Whatever," Karofsky laughed.

"Leave it alone or I'll tell everyone what happened in the locker room," Brittany growled. "I'll tell all of them."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Karofsky spat. Rachel saw him start shaking a little as his eyes looked around to his curious teammates.

"I'll do it."

"Whatever."

Fearing for Brittany's safety, Rachel began briskly walking to the crowd of jocks even though she knew she wouldn't be much help. She was only a few inches above five feet and most of the jocks were three times her weight and over a foot taller.

"Fine," Brittany said with a shrug. "I saw you kiss K-..."

"Shut up! God! We'll leave it alone. Come on, guys."

There was a grumble of disappointment as the jocks retreated, leaving Rachel's car completely untouched. Three rows away, though, she saw them cover Jacob Ben Israel and his scooter. He kind of deserved it, though. The pervert.

"You didn't have to do that," Rachel finally spoke.

"I didn't want them being mean to you anymore. So this morning I told Karofsky that they had to leave you alone from now on or I'd tell everyone I saw him kissing Kurt in the locker room."

For more than one reason, Rachel's jaw dropped open and she stared at Brittany who just looked at her as if she hadn't just confessed to protecting her and to revealing Dave Karofsky's biggest secret.

"So you're the reason why I didn't get pranked today?"

"Yeah."

"I...thank you Brittany. Honestly, I'm not sure how I can repay you."

"Go out with me tonight!"

After quickly weighing out the pros and cons in her head, Rachel hesitantly nodded. She did owe something to Brittany because, after all, it was the blonde that stopped the torture. Brittany was a little bit of a knight in shining armor.

Brittany jumped up and down and squealed then threw her arms around Rachel and pulled her in for a hug. Of course Rachel returned the hug, it would be rude not to. It was a surprise when Brittany pressed a kiss to Rachel's cheek, leaving the brunette's cheeks tinged pink as the pair pulled back.

"Come to my house at eight. Here's my address," Brittany said, pulling a piece of paper out of her pocket and dropping it in Rachel's hand. "Bring the paper back with you, I have to keep it with me. See you later!"

Rachel nodded affirmative and watched with intrigue as Brittany skipped away, blonde curls bouncing. She had to admit, Brittany wasn't bad to look at. Not at all. She never had been. Her jeans hugged her curves quite nicely and it was a known fact that she was very, very flexible. Perhaps this wouldn't turn out too badly, Rachel thought.

XXXXXXXXXX

Right at eight that evening, Rachel raised her hand to knock on the Pierces' front door but before she could knock, the door was flung open and Brittany was grabbing on to her and pulling her into the house. No one, not Brittany's parents or little sister, gave a single glance to the pair as Brittany dragged Rachel through the house and out the back door.

"Come on, slow-poke," Brittany squealed, taking off in a sprint toward the wooded area behind the house and it took everything Rachel had to keep up with her.

"Brittany! Where are we going?"

"You'll see. Come on!"

There was a light glow in the distance that Brittany was headed for, Rachel squinted to keep track of the blonde in the dark. Brittany stopped short, Rachel crashed into her, and all Brittany did was giggle. Rachel bent down, putting her hands on her knees and trying to catch her breath. Brittany really was fast.

"You go first," Brittany said.

Rachel finally looked up to see the source of the glow she'd seen earlier. A tree-house up in a massive oak tree that was lit brightly with different colored Christmas lights. A ladder attached to the tree led up to the center of the tree house. Brittany nudged Rachel a little closer and Rachel took a deep breath before stepping up to the first step and beginning to climb.

"Are you sure this is safe?"

"I climb up here all the time. My dad built it for my birthday last year. Or maybe it was for my sister. I don't remember."

Rachel shrugged and kept climbing, seemingly going up forever, until she reached the open hatch and stepped onto the floor. It was absolutely spectacular. There were rugs everywhere, beanbag chairs, lights, a TV, mini-fridge, small stereo, posters, a bookshelf with trinkets, board games, art supplies, and messes of paper. Brittany soon followed and closed the hatch behind her.

"How on Earth do you get electricity out here?"

"My dad's a contractor. He knows people."

Rachel nodded. "It's gorgeous."

"Do you want a soda or water?"

"Water would be lovely, thank you."

Brittany pulled a bottle of water out of the mini-fridge and handed it off to Rachel before grabbing a stack of board games off the shelf and dropping to the floor. Rachel followed suit and Brittany started setting up Snakes and Ladders.

"I haven't played this since I was seven," Rachel noted.

"It's fun. Candyland is my favorite but I wanted to save it for last."

"Alright."

"Okay, the rules..."

"I think I know the rules, Brittany."

"These are different, though. Every time I win a game I get to ask you a question and you have to answer it no matter what. If you win, you get to ask me one and I have to answer it. Got it?"

"I understand. Shall we?" The uneasiness Rachel had about this date with Brittany was slowly leaving and she began to relax a little.

Three and a half hours later, Rachel was sitting with her jaw open as Brittany kicked her ass at Candyland for the second time, leaving Rachel with only one on the night. They'd played Snakes and Ladders, Sorry, Disney Trivia, Yahtzee, Go Fish (four times, Rachel winning once), and now Candyland. It was unheard of for Rachel to lose anything. And she was attempting to be upset about it but the wide grin on Brittany's face as she won again made Rachel unable to do anything but smile and shake her head.

"That's nine games to one."

"I'm awesome at board games. You're...not."

Rachel nodded and stacked up the Candyland cards. "I suppose board games just aren't my strong suit."

"First question," Brittany said as she put Candyland back on the stack and then sat back with her legs crossed. "Why don't you tell someone that people are mean to you?"

"Well," Rachel gasped, a little taken aback, "I...it's not that bad. I just tell myself that this is only a stop on my road to inevitable fame."

"You get bullied more than anyone."

"I shrug it off."

"Number two: Have you ever thought about doing anything about it? Like...getting back at them?"

"I do occasionally have fantasies of slashing Dave Karofsky's tires. Although with the secret you revealed to me earlier his actions make a lot more sense. And once I seriously contemplated filling Azimio's jock strap with itching powder."

"You should."

"I can't risk losing any chance at a scholarship."

Brittany shrugged and scooted a little closer, her knees almost touching Rachel's. "Fair enough. Three: What else are you afraid of?"

"Not accomplishing my dreams," Rachel said simply.

Brittany shook her head. "Something no one knows about."

It was a little embarrassing but Rachel took a deep breath and looked down. "I...I have this fear that there are things hiding under my bed. I suppose you could say monsters."

"I totally get that."

Rachel glanced up expecting a smile on Brittany's face but was instead met with understanding and concern in the blonde's eyes. Brittany nodded and reached out to put a hand on Rachel's knee, rubbing circles with her thumb.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. There's an evil squirrel that lives under mine."

"That's unfortunate."

"Yep. Four: Are you a virgin?"

"Yes."

"Five: How long have you liked girls?"

"Well...I first noticed you in eighth grade. You were in the dance class next to mine. You're a fantastic dancer, Brittany."

"Thanks. You're good, too. Like at singing and all that stuff."

Rachel blushed. Brittany moved a little closer, her knees now touching Rachel's.

"Six: Scariest thing that ever happened to you?"

"I got lost in the mall when I was seven. The security office refused to let my dads see me, the homophobic neanderthals. It took an hour to sort everything out."

"That's really sad."

"There was a lawsuit filed and I have a lifetime twenty-five percent discount in every store as part of the settlement. So I suppose that's a silver lining."

Brittany nodded and by the smile on her face, Rachel could tell that the next question was going to be...a little devious.

"Seventh question: How bad do you want to kiss me right now?"

Rachel's mouth went dry and she stopped breathing. The world seemed to come to a standstill. It wasn't until Brittany asked that Rachel realized she really, really wanted to kiss her. Really.

"That bad, huh?"

"I just...well, I haven't had this much fun in quite some time despite losing ninety percent of the games. And you were quite the knight in shining armor today."

"Eighth question: What are you waiting for?"

"I'm not sure." Rachel shifted onto her knees and leaned forward, one hand on Brittany's shoulder and the other on her knee. She smiled before slowly closing the gap and pressing her lips against Brittany's. The taste of cinnamon touched her tongue when she darted it out. The kiss deepened, Brittany leaned back onto a beanbag chair, and Rachel followed. It was Brittany that pulled away with a smile on her face.

"Your turn," Brittany whispered. "Ask me."

Rachel chewed on her lip and thought carefully before speaking. "Is this real?"

Brittany tilted her head and furrowed her eyebrows. Rachel could practically see the wheels turning.

"I don't think I'm dreaming."

"No, I mean...is this real or am I just a conquest?"

"Well, it is pretty cool that I've made out with half the glee club. But I like you a lot. And it can't be a joke because it's after midnight and that mean's it's like tomorrow or something. So it's not April Fool's Day anymore."

"I can't argue with that logic."

"I'm good like that. We should make out some more."

"What about the last question?"

"I'll think about it."

Rachel shrugged and crashed her lips back against Brittany's. Tongues dueled and soft moans escaped. Three days later, Brittany used her last question with, "You wanna be my girlfriend?"

"Absolutely."

"It's not an April Fool's joke, in case you were wondering."

"Thank you for the reassurance, Britt."

"Candyland tonight?"

"You're on."


End file.
